Life Stories

Hello Blogosphere!

This post is going to be kind of short. I’ve generally been working 12 hours a day and I have a social life on top of that… so not much time to write, unfortunately! In the midst of all my activities the past couple of months I’ve kind of become obsessed with people’s life stories. I listen to story podcasts, I ask everyone around me to tell me everything about themselves, I’m writing my parents’ memoirs, and I suppose even writing this blog is part of my obsession!

I’ve always been amazed at how you can pass by thousands of people on the busy streets of Toronto every day, and not know a single thing about any of them, when in reality there is a rich life going on within every single person. I’ve also always loved meeting new people, and I strangely really enjoy hearing about and empathizing with other people’s problems and triumphs. This love of life stories is part of the reason I travel; I want to hear stories from a variety of people, and from exciting people. I suppose I like to meet people and hear about all they’ve gone through because it gives me perspective on my own life, whether I am dealing with a good or bad situation, and helps me make decisions about my future.

Other people’s life stories help me realize how good I have it even when I think things are tough. On top of making me realize that I’m not alone, I can see that the people who shared their stories with me eventually got through their bad times. More importantly, many of these people remained optimistic throughout. And even more importantly, I have seen that these people gained strength in their identity and self-assurance because they overcame difficult situations. Sometimes I am simply amazed at how strong people are, and how humans are able to overcome some of the crazy things that life presents: War, poverty, unrequited love, broken friendships, drug addiction, illness, random devastating losses... all these things and more can consume someone’s life. To come out of things all right, to move on and to be happy is really an amazing feat in my eyes. Travelling to different parts of the world increases exposure to people who have overcome such a variety of adverse situations. For example, I was really affected by learning about the genocide in Cambodia. I went to killing fields, prisons, and museums and actually felt sick from seeing artefacts and hearing so many stories of the brutality that people endured. Moreover, seeing the reverberating effects through the country’s socioeconomic conditions and national psyche really stuck with me and helped me understand my interactions with locals. I could not believe how the country has rebuilt itself even though the genocide was so very recent. It may sound lame to compare the endurance of a nation in spite of such atrocities against humanity to my own feeble troubles, but through these stories I have learned that I shouldn’t let any one situation or circumstance define who I am, and I feel encouraged that I will get through whatever rough patch I think I’m in.  I simultaneously know that whatever I’m going through won’t be a big deal in the grand scheme of things, as well as will be an integral part of who I am and how I respond to challenges in the future. In short, other people’s stories teach me that everything you go through, even the bad things, molds you and enriches your life.

On a lighter note, other people’s life stories inspire me to be great. I mentioned that I like to travel to meet exciting and interesting people. People who take risks and pounce on any opportunity to grow and push themselves out of their comfort zones really make me want to do the same. If I learn that someone finished school and got an amazing job, it makes me work hard to achieve my own career goals. When I hear about someone embarking on a sailing trip across some islands, I start developing new bucket list items of a similar quality (I really do have it in mind to befriend some sailors in Argentina one day and make my way onto a ship going to Antarctica). I know that if any of these other people can do such incredible things, so can I! While I know many inspirational people here at home (my extremely interesting parents, for instance), a lot of times I find that people around me don’t really understand my need for adventure. Hence, in addition to travelling to experience new cultures, I travel to seek out those who enjoy spontaneity and new things as much as I do, so that their experiences influence and embolden me to keep reaching higher.

I strive to have new and interesting experiences because I enjoy them in the moment, but I also enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that I’m weaving an intricate story of my own life. I am a happy person if I can look back and smile at all that I’ve done. So far, I can. So far, I believe I’m incredibly lucky to have such an amazing life.

In addition to being obsessed with other people’s life stories, as well as my own, I am kind of obsessed with recording them. I think it’s important not to forget the meaningful events of a lifetime (and it’s so easy to forget!), so I’ve started writing things down a lot more. Isn’t it a beautiful idea to have a record of how unique people are? Maybe writing down a life story can inspire someone generations from now, or someone in a distant land. If nothing else, stories about the ups and downs of living can give you something to chuckle about when you’re older and wiser, and make you appreciate the lessons you’ve learned along the way. 

Naked Bungee Jumping! And food poisoning.

I’m going to write about two random memorable experiences from my travels for this post. I was going to write a detailed account of one of my highest highs (naked bungee jumping), and one of my lowest lows (getting severe food poisoning); however writing about the low made me feel depressed. I don’t want anyone reading this blog to feel bad so I decided to focus on the naked bungee jump and then quickly summarize what happened when I got sick.

*Censored pictures of the naked jump are lumped together at the end of my first story!*

When I was a kid, probably about 10 years old or so, I watched a movie made in New Zealand. I don’t remember what the movie was about, but I remember one scene at the very end in which a girl does a naked bungee jump off a bridge with a heart painted on her back. The movie made it out to be an extremely liberating experience, and I wanted to do it ever since. Not your average little girl’s dream, but I suppose I’m a bit weird! I have done a lot of crazy things in my life (a previous post explains how I’m a bit of a thrill-seeker), but naked bungee jumping in New Zealand was always at the very top of my bucket list. I told everyone about my goal, not sure if I would ever actually reach it. Going to New Zealand in general became a dream of mine, as I had seen so many beautiful pictures, and I heard that you could do all sorts of crazy stuff there. On top of that, I’m a bit of a fern lover (I studied ferns for my Master’s thesis) and the silver fern as well as the koru (fern fiddlehead) are two of New Zealand’s national emblems. It seemed like that country had everything I could ever want.

I found myself in Australia for a year, and I knew that I would be heading to New Zealand from there. Due to the timing of my trip down south and work obligations, I decided to spend just six weeks in NZ during the Southern Hemisphere’s summer of 2012. Leading up to my trip I told even more people about how I wanted to go naked bungee jumping. It seemed closer, but still not part of my reality. Was I really going to do it?

I finally landed in New Zealand; one of my dreams had already come true! I wasn’t sure when or where I would do the naked bungee jump, so I decided to just wing it. I started my trip in the North Island, which isn’t really known for its jumps nowadays. I then found my way onto a quasi-tour bus called the Magic Bus when I got to the South Island. It was a hop-on hop-off type of deal, and it was a better way of meeting people than taking regular coach buses around the country. I slowly made my way down the south of the country, to Queenstown, on the Magic Bus. Queenstown is the craziest party town in the country, and it also offers a million opportunities for an adrenaline junkie to get his fix. Queenstown is the home of commercial bungee jumping, and I had it in my mind that I wanted to do a naked bungee jump at the original commercial  jump – the Kawarau Bridge Jump. I told one of the bus drivers that I wanted to do a naked jump, and he confirmed that the Kawarau Bridge Jump was my best bet for that because I would be on a platform far away from an audience. That seemed ideal because I’m really not an exhibitionist – the point of doing this jump was to push myself beyond my comfort zone and reach a point of pure exhilaration and freedom, not to just be naked in front of people. Additionally, the bridge jump isn’t that high (43 m) so I wouldn’t be too preoccupied with the actual jump.

Well, the day came that our bus rolled into Queenstown. It was a cool, rainy day; New Zealand wasn’t having the best of summers. If I booked my jumps with the bus group I would get a better deal. You see, naked bungee jumping used to be free, but too many broke backpackers started doing it and now you have to pay full price regardless of if you have your clothes on or not. I booked three jumps at once to get an even better deal, but the Kawarau Bridge jump was first. I had to decide then and there if I was going to take the leap – naked – or not! I decided to do it. I told my new bus driver my plan, and he was super excited. He got to jump free if he went tandem with someone, so he asked if he could come along. I gave him an emphatic no. This was a personal thing. A moment many years in the making.

I got to the front desk to sign up for the jump and told the lady working there that I was going to do it naked. I don’t think she paid attention/didn’t believe me the first time, but when I asked her where I should put my clothes and if they had a towel or something I could wrap myself in until I had to jump, she realized I was serious. Things were in motion. I was given an extra-large T-shirt and changed into it in the bathroom of the AJ Hackett Bungy Jump Centre. I gave my stuff to some guys on my bus and proceeded to the bridge I would jump from. That’s when it first hit me that the other bus driver had lied; I wouldn’t be that far from everyone when I jumped. The viewing platform gave a clear view of everyone jumping, and when news of my naked jump spread, a large crowd gathered on it. I also saw the cameraman and fully realized that the whole thing was going to be photographed and filmed, with TV screens around the centre showing a zoomed in video of my jump. Oy. I wasn’t considering turning back, but my nervousness jumped up a few notches.

My friend went before me, and as she was preparing to jump I started to get harnessed. I kept my shirt on while they strapped me in around my torso, but then it was my turn up to the plate. I lifted the shirt over my head and stepped onto the jumping platform. The woman working on the platform took one look at me and started yelling at me to sit down. My harness wasn’t attached to anything and I was just freely standing there, naked, 43 m above the water. I don’t know if it was me who got distracted, or the guy working there, but either way a mistake was made and I shouldn’t have been up there. So I sat down, another guy tied up my legs and attached me to the harness, and then it was finally time to jump.

Sidenote: the guy who tied up my legs didn’t even realize I was naked until I jumped. He was that focused on his job. Kudos to him!

I stood at the edge of the jumping platform and the crowd at the viewing platform started cheering. I was covering myself as much as possible when the cameraman got my attention and insisted I smile for the camera, so I did. The people working there counted me down – 3-2-1-JUMP! – and I swan dived off the platform. The crowd went wild. I actually really enjoy being cheered on by such a large crowd; maybe that’s what celebrities feel like. Anyway, after the initial shock where you don’t really comprehend anything (this has happened with all of my jumps), I closed my eyes and just tried to take it all in. I had done it!!! My greatest goal in life had been accomplished! I spread my arms wide and relished in my accomplishment and the cool breeze, but I also realized that I didn’t feel as free as I thought I would. The rush was temporary and then I was just hanging upside down naked in front of a bunch of strangers. I didn’t exactly feel that sense of primal adrenaline that I thought doing a naked jump off the original commercial bungee jump in New Zealand would give me. But I still felt immense joy. I’m so glad I did it!

After I stopped bouncing around, I hung upside down over the water and waited for the boat to come pick me up and release me from my naked prison. It was a bit awkward being scooped up by these two guys, trying to cover myself whilst letting them unhook me. When I was finally back at the shore a guy working there handed me the extra-large t-shirt I had on before. I put it on and then my bus driver, who I was starting to realize was maybe a bit creepy, came down with his jacket for me to wear. He offered to give me a piggy back ride up the stairs back to the centre, but I told him not to worry – I could walk barefoot, no problem.

Everyone at the centre gave me high fives when I got back. I hung out with the crowd for a couple minutes and then grabbed my stuff and changed back into my clothes. When I emerged from the bathroom my bus driver called me over to the front desk. The employees wanted to show me the pictures and video taken during my jump, hoping I would buy them. I did not want to buy them, and I didn’t even really want to look at them, but they insisted. Let me tell you, being suspended naked in mid-air is not the most flattering way to be photographed. I quickly looked at everything and then told them I didn’t want to buy it. My bus driver kept looking at the video, and I had to block the screen and tell him to take a hike. They all laughed and assured me that some pictures would go up in the employee lunch room :S I admit that it was all pretty funny, but I definitely felt uncomfortable with the fact that my naked body was the object of all the attention!

I got back on the bus and we all waited for about ten minutes for our driver to come back. When he did he handed something to me. He had somehow acquired my naked photos (and postcards)! I don’t know if he paid for them or not, but either way it was kind of nice, and kind of weird. I spent the next month travelling around with naked pictures of myself in my backpack! Ha!

I ran into people I knew for a couple of weeks after my naked jump, and all of them had heard about it, even if they didn’t know I was the one who did it. It seemed to really cause a stir in the backpacker community hanging around there at the time, and it was fun overhearing people talk about me. I hope I inspired a few of them to push themselves out of their comfort zones and try something a little crazy too!

The majority of people I tell about my adventure immediately ask if there was any chafing or pain from everything flopping around. The answer is no, I felt perfectly fine. Even if there was discomfort, I wouldn’t have noticed because I had more pressing issues on my mind! I’m not sure how things would feel for a dude, who has a few more moveable parts, but I can assure you that bungee jumping is a very smooth process. The cord stretches out so that you slow down as you reach the bottom, before you bounce back up. I’ve never felt more than a head rush from doing it.

I still feel a surge of joy and pride whenever I think back on that adventure. I also feel extremely accomplished. My bucket list had a bunch of things checked off of it in New Zealand, and while I’m always adding more things to it, it feels so good to know that I’ve followed through with most of my dreams thus far. I 100% recommend naked bungee jumping, but more than that I urge you (yes you!) to make a plan to strike something off your own personal bucket list. I don’t think life should be solely focused on accomplishing specific goals, but doing so definitely helps keep you on course to living a fulfilling life, and a life you can be proud of.

About to jump. Smile for the camera!

I took the leap!

Free fall!

Weeee!

Probably the worst picture of me of all time!

So much fun!

I did it!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, if you’re interested in hearing a less exciting story, then keep reading!

Like I said, I decided not to post the details of my illness on this blog because I actually felt sick again from just writing it! So here’s the gist of it:

I ate shitty food at a Chinese restaurant in Northern Peru right before venturing off on my own one evening. I got terrible food poisoning and was stuck in the bathroom of a shitty hostel full of drunken Irish men, all alone, for about three days. Nobody there knew I was sick or cared about me. Except maybe the cleaning lady. I had never felt that much pain or had that many things coming out of me at once before. After a week of not fully recovering I self-medicated and overdosed on antibiotics. I killed all the good bacteria in my stomach and continued suffering for a couple more months, on and off. I finally saw a doctor in Bolivia, and after some testing he prescribed me probiotics. I had a horrible reaction to the probiotics and was very sick again! I decided to quickly move to Chile and Argentina, which are a bit more sanitary, and I recovered.

Meal of Death!

I managed to see Chan Chan, the largest Pre-Columbian city in South America, right after my initial days of food poisoning.

So, a couple months of my trip kinda sucked because I didn’t feel well half the time. BUT, I got through it. I also took a lot of positive things out of the experience: Being sick caused a chain of events that led to me meeting some truly amazing people that I will be friends with forever. It showed me that strangers can be extremely kind. I proved to myself that I can overcome some tough life challenges, and that has given me even more confidence in myself. I now know not to take Ciprofloxacin twice a day for seven days, no matter how bad my food poisoning is. I also lost some of the weight I had put on from travelling at that point and could fit back in my too-tight jeans!

I may have missed out on some of the experiences I had planned for myself in South America, like hiking in the Cordillera Blanca, volunteering at an animal sanctuary, and camping in the jungle, but I had some other wonderful experiences instead. That’s what travelling is all about – you never know what the hell is going to happen next, but you know that it’s going to be beautiful. I’m not sure I would say that looking back I’m glad I got food poisoning, but I am certain that the experience helped me grow as a person and caused a lot of good things to happen to me.

I suppose the lesson of both my stories is that you can do anything. Whether it’s rising up to the occasion and reaching a difficult goal, or overcoming a major challenge that comes out of nowhere, everyone has it within themselves to follow through and not give up. I could have easily chickened out and just done a regular bungee jump, or I could have cut my trip short like my family wanted me to after I got sick. I wouldn’t have disappointed anyone around me if I did those things, but I would have really disappointed myself. Everyone has their own dreams and problems, and I encourage you all to believe in yourself and not back down from them. You’ll be a better person for it.

Vegan Travel

Most people who know me know that I’m vegan. It’s not something I broadcast, but it inevitably comes up when I hang out with people, because people like to eat! There are a lot of reasons I’m vegan, but I’m not here to discuss them. I’m here to explain what it’s like to travel while maintaining a vegan diet, since many people ask me about it and there is a lack of information on the internet. I was afraid of not being able to eat properly while abroad and spent a lot of time reading other people’s blogs looking for advice before I left. I didn’t find many useful resources, but it turned out not to be a problem. I stayed true to my vegan self when I was travelling, and discovered that it’s just something you have to figure out along the way.

For those who don’t know, veganism is the practice of abstaining from the use of animal products. That means I don’t use animals for food, clothing, entertainment, or any other purpose; so no meat, dairy or eggs, no leather or wool, and no going to the zoo or riding animals. 

I’ve been vegan for over six years. Before that I was vegetarian for probably about six years as well, and before that I barely ate any meat since the age of 7. It’s been a long journey for me, and I know a lot about the topic. As such, being vegan at home is a no-brainer. I eat what I want to eat, when I want to eat it – just like everyone else. I like to cook my own food rather than eat out (I’m an amazing cook and baker, ask anyone! :P), but if I do want to go to a restaurant, vegan and vegan-friendly restaurants are abound in Western countries. Occasionally I pass on going out with friends if they’re going to a place known for their meat, but that hasn’t been a big issue in my life. 

Travelling and eating out in non-Western countries while being vegan can be a bit tricky, particularly if you don’t speak the local language. Depending on where you’re travelling, you may or may not have access to a kitchen in your hostel. If a kitchen is available, then it’s just like being at home. You can go to the market or store and buy the foods you want to eat, and then cook them in the hostel. Most of us backpackers are super cheap and prefer to cook our own food for that reason; however sometimes a kitchen is not available and sometimes eating out is cheaper than cooking your own food. In these cases, being vegan can prove challenging.

Cooking Ratatouille in Baños, Ecuador.

The experience of ordering food and eating at restaurants is always a little bit stressful for vegans when travelling. Although vegetarianism is a fast-growing movement and it’s not hard to find vegetarian restaurants and vegetarian options in most places, even in developing countries, veganism is less well understood than vegetarianism. Therefore it was necessary to specify exactly what I wanted to eat when I went to a non-vegetarian restaurant. For example: “I would like the tofu and veggie dish, but please do not put any fish sauce in it.” Or, “I would like the vegetarian pizza with no cheese, please.” I tried to learn the words I needed to explain that I was vegan if I didn’t speak the language in the country I was visiting. Unfortunately I wasn’t very good at saying these few words in certain languages, particularly Southeast Asian languages, and I often ended up trying to mime what I wanted. If they understood me, the people working at a restaurant sometimes looked at me funny and thought I was a crazy white lady, but complied with my vegan request, no problem. If they didn’t understand me (which was often, because apparently my fish impression is terrible), they would nod their head yes and then bring me a dish with who-knows-what in it. 

One of the veg restaurants in Bagan, Burma.

If I was given a meal that was clearly not vegan then I politely returned it with an explanation. Sometimes I was given another meal, and sometimes I said not to worry and I ate somewhere else, depending on the circumstances. If I was given food that looked vegan but I wasn’t 100% sure that it was, then I still ate it because being super picky was too difficult for me. I’m satisfied with trying my hardest to eat vegan, even if I occasionally do not have complete control of a situation.

Many people are concerned that being vegan means missing out on experiencing culture, and many people like to travel just to try different local foods. Food is an integral part of culture, and it gives you information about the history of a region. Eating can be a symbolic act in many parts of the world, not just an act that breaks up the day like it often is in the West. The relationship between people and food is extremely complex, and eating local cuisine certainly gives you a glimpse into that relationship. Yes, I do miss out on a lot of the local cuisine, but there are a lot of local vegan foods! A few that come to mind are sticky rice with beans stuffed in bamboo sticks in Cambodia, quinoa soup in Bolivia, fresh fruit in Colombia and Thailand, deep-fried split pea tofu in Burma, and the list goes on. As I mentioned earlier, there are a ton of veg restaurants all over the world; the veg movement is spreading to many different cultures. One of my favourite meals while travelling was a breakfast curry from a tiny vegetarian restaurant in a small town in western Cambodia. All the locals ate there and it was obvious why! Additionally, culture encompasses a lot more than food, and I certainly believe that I have had profound cultural experiences throughout my travels whilst upholding my beliefs and maintaining a vegan lifestyle. Moreover, I don’t think being vegan makes me any less Canadian than someone who eats burgers. I have found my niche in Canadian culture, just like I find my niche in other cultures that I visit.

Sticky rice with "Cambrodia" before river dolphin watching on the Irrawaddy, outside of Kratie, Cambodia.

I am aware that turning down food can be perceived as extremely rude and disrespectful in many cultures. I definitely didn’t enjoy that awkward moment when you try to seem appreciative while handing back food, but I didn’t become vegan because it’s easy. I don’t think I really offended anyone by returning a meal that wasn’t what I ordered. In fact, I found that explaining myself to the locals was an interesting and rewarding experience. I also think there are a lot more offensive actions that most travellers perform on a daily basis, such as getting drunk and naked on a beach in a modest religious area. In my opinion, you have to act according to your own moral compass, no matter where you are.

Some people were concerned with my health when I was travelling, because if I’m always eating pizza without cheese then how do I get any protein and other necessary nutrients? Well, that pizza thing only actually happened once. It’s very rare that I am not able to eat a variety of foods while travelling. Just like being vegan at home, there are so many options out there in the rest of the world. Many developing countries rely on  plant-based food staples that we don’t use at home that are in fact super nutritious. I sought these out in every country I went to, and I would argue that I got to try a lot of foods that other foreigners never even heard of. For example, I found an old woman selling some kind of bean salad out of a bucket on a street corner in a small town in northern Peru. I asked to buy some and she first offered me a sample… from a spoon that she used to offer everyone samples! I tried a spoonful - It was delicious and nutritious! I became much more mindful of nutrition when I became vegetarian, and I’ve never had a problem with my health. I had a full check-up when I returned to Canada after my two years abroad, and I am perfectly healthy in every regard. So don’t worry, being vegan while travelling is not detrimental to your health.

Reed from the Uros floating islands in Lake Titicaca. They use this stuff for everything, even to make the islands! They compared it to ice cream... I would have to disagree.

Displaying local foods eaten on the floating islands in Lake Titicaca. They made their lives out to be a bit of a spectacle for tourists, but it was still interesting!

Despite almost never having a problem finding food to eat, I liked to be prepared in case one of those rare instances did occur. I guess you could say I have trust issues? (jks!) I usually carried nutritious snacks with me to make sure I never went hungry... Aaand I didn’t! In fact, my preparedness usually backfired and I ended up eating my snacks on top of my regular meals. So here’s a tip for any other travelling vegans: if you don’t want to gain weight, trust that you will find food to eat at your next destination!

Peanut butter in a bag. Perfect snack! PB was hard to find in South America, so I was pretty proud when I sniffed it out in a small shop. We ate it while hitching a ride in the back of a pickup truck down the coast of Ecuador. Life doesn't get much sweeter than this!

Here are some other vegan travel tips:

       ·         Bring a Tupperware container with you. It’s so useful for mixing up and carrying guacamole, as well as other foods. Just make sure it doesn’t leak!

       ·         Indian restaurants are great sources of nutritious vegan food, and they are everywhere! Order something spicy and have the locals laugh at you while you sweat, cry and blow your nose over a yummy meal.

       ·         Nuts. Also, avocados.

       ·         There are a lot of mock meat Chinese restaurants in the world as well. I once ate vegan “sheep heart and intestines” at a veg restaurant in Burma. A little disturbing, but tasty nonetheless.

       ·         Don’t ever drink goon in Australia. Aside from getting tremors and a wicked hangover, this cheap backpacker option has fish, eggs, and milk in it! Some regular wines do too.

       ·         Where there are Israelis, there is falafel. Tons of Israelis go backpacking after they finish the army, and as such there are a ton of Israeli restaurants in popular backpacker areas. Mmmm… falafel!

       ·         You can get food poisoning even if you’re vegan. Trust your instincts and don’t eat food if you’re feeling a sketchy vibe.

       ·         Guide books have key phrases about food at the back of them – definitely useful! These phrases are right next to the sex section for some reason.

       ·         Don’t be afraid to tell locals that you’re vegan – sometimes you get great advice on where to go, or people will make special food for you. Basically, people can be awesome.

Delicious pie from a veg restaurant in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

I feel that veganism has actually enhanced my travels in some respects. It has brought me to places and people that meat-eating backpackers will never encounter. For example, I had to spend four days in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, waiting for a flight at one point. I’ve mentioned before how much I dislike KL for various reasons, but one thing it’s got going for it is food! The amount of vegetarian restaurants in that city is astounding, so I made it my mission to try a new one each of the four days I was there. I ended up in some really cool spots, but I also met some really cool people! There were three Indonesian women on vacation in KL the time I was there, and I ran into them three out of the four days at different vegetarian restaurants. They talked to me the first time they saw me and we discussed reasons for being vegetarian. By the third time I saw them we were old friends and ate together. They tried to pay for my food and told me I had to come visit them if I made it to Indonesia. Despite them being older than me (ages ranged from 40 to 80 years old), I had a wonderful time connecting to them, and would definitely have gotten in touch with them if I had decided to go to Indonesia.

Blue Boy vegetarian hawker centre (kind of like a food court) in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. 

Food from Mrs. Popcorn in Hsipaw, Burma. She was the best!

Talking to other travellers about veganism was inevitable in my travels. I am proud to be vegan and would like more awareness about the reasons I am vegan, but I don’t bring the topic up unless it is forced on me. The reason for this is that while I whole-heartedly believe in veganism, I also believe that everyone has the capability to make their own decisions about these kinds of things. I don’t like it when people shove their ideas down my throat, so why would I do that to anyone else? That said, if someone has questions for me then I am happy to answer them. Believe me when I tell you that I’ve had the vegan conversation thousands of times. By now it’s easy for me to predict how people will react to the news, and what they’ll say. 

Just for fun, I’ll break it down into three different common reactions for you: (1) My favourite reaction is when people think it’s cool and then move on quickly. Maybe they’re veg or dabbled in it, or have a relative who’s veg. Either way, they understand it and respect it. That happens often enough, but (2) more often I get the standard questions about what I eat. No, I do not just eat salad (although I do love my salad!). Following these questions are the standard responses of, “I could probably stop eating meat, but I love cheese too much to be vegan,” or “I dunno, man. I couldn’t do it,” or, “What’s your superpower?” My answer to that last one is that I’m a level five vegan ninja and I have the gift of flight (seriously). Also, sometimes a really dirty question is thrown in there, but I’m going to keep this blog post PG! (3) Finally, the third major reaction to the news that I’m vegan is people interrogating me and trying to prove why I’m stupid/that I’m not completely vegan. I’ve given up engaging with people who feel threatened by my choices and attack me unprovoked. I just tell these people that I’m too tired to talk about it and I then change the subject.

I told you I could fly! But all jokes aside, I really can.

I’d like to end this post with a little spiel about privilege. I am vegan partially because I am privileged. I have a choice when it comes to what I eat, as I have a choice about most things in life; e.g. if I want formal education, where I’ll travel to next, what kind of cell phone to buy, etc. I understand that not everyone in the world has so much choice, and that many people will eat whatever they can in order to survive. Hell, I have relatives who sucked on thrown away chicken bones, or drank donkey piss because they were starving during times of war. Similarly, I have met many people who don’t know how they’re going to put food on their family’s table in my recent travels. I often think about a young girl I befriended in Cambodia who told me that even though she didn’t like it, her family ate dogs and rats. Of course I understand the circumstances that lead to those situations and I am in no way judgmental. I feel deeply for those who are hungry and I try to help when I can, but that doesn’t change the fact that I still have the freedom of choice when it comes to my food. I am going to exercise that freedom for as long as I have it to make the most positive choices that I can. I choose to be vegan.

So there you have it. Vegan travel has its ups and downs, but you just gotta ride the wave. Isn’t that what life’s all about? Being vegan can lead to some awkward restaurant situations, but I personally like a challenge! That awkwardness is no reason not to travel if you’re vegan. Indeed, there is a lot of yummy vegan food in the world, and you should make it your personal mission to find it! Spread the love. Eat, live, and travel vegan! :D

A Note about Romance on the Road

One of the biggest reasons I travel is because I enjoy meeting new people. Whether you meet for fifteen minutes on a boat ride, eight hours on a train, five minutes on the dance floor, or if you spend days or weeks travelling with another person, it is almost always a pleasure. Travelling alone makes you open to connecting to new people for the sake of new experience, but it also makes you crave human connection - something to keep you grounded as you float around the world. There are many different types of new relationships that are established while travelling, but in this post I’m going to talk about the juicy stuff – romance! OoOoh! It’s inevitable that solo travellers form romantic relationships with people they meet on the road, and I think it’s an important part of the journey.

Most of us single travellers are very open to having romantic liaisons. First of all, they’re fun. Everyone knows that. What’s not to like about kissing a cute person you just met who is probably cool since he/she is travelling in the same place you are? These instances add spice to an already spicy life, and usually leave you with good stories to tell your friends.

Romance on the road is inherently temporary, but definitely worth the personal investment. Although travelling gives you a lot to do and think about on a daily basis, making it hard to become preoccupied with loneliness, you can feel very disconnected from other people. Travelling solo pushes you to live only for yourself. Being selfish in this way can be a good thing, but it can also make you feel like something is missing, like you’re a bit hollow. Romantic relationships introduce solidity to life on the road by adding another layer to your experience and enriching it in a very special way. I always felt like I was giving the other person something real to hold onto just as much as I felt they were giving me the same thing. That’s why it’s worth it to delve in and get involved with someone, whether it’s for a few days, a few weeks, or a few months, despite the knowledge that your romantic connection probably has an expiry date.

I’m not going to get into the details of my personal life on this public blog, but I’ll say that I met more than one person I was romantically interested in while I was away. Most of these romantic interests were casual encounters, as it was hard to get serious about anyone when I was always planning my next step. There were some people that I spent more time with than others, and thus had more of a connection with than others, but I never expected to develop strong feelings about anyone because of how often I moved around. In fact, I tried to keep people at arm’s length to avoid the inevitable heartbreak.

Fortunately, despite my efforts not to, I fell in love once or twice. Love is apparently one of those things that sneaks up on you, especially when you’re travelling. Just like friendships, romantic relationships can become very intense, very quickly while travelling. After meeting someone you’re interested in back home, you tend to be very cautious and make an effort to move the relationship forward slowly. You don’t want to make a mistake and end up having a thing with the wrong person, and there are all these rules about how quickly you should reach certain steps in a relationship. These rules and worries don’t exist while travelling because there are no expectations. You often end up spending 24/7 with a person as soon as you meet them, and your time together is filled with a lot of challenges that test your character and expose who you really are. You can see someone at their best AND worst in a very short time span, and if you’re still with them after all that then it’s easy to feel very strongly connected.

All of my romantic relationships abroad eventually ended, and that definitely made me sad; however in addition to kind of mentally preparing myself for the end throughout the relationship, the fact that things ended because someone had to leave and not because things turned sour made it easier to cope with. I’m glad I can look back on those memories fondly, and I’m even gladder that I had the opportunity to create such amazing memories at all.

Side note: I also got involved with a few idiots when I was abroad, just like I do when I’m not travelling; but hey, you gotta take some bad with the good!

One of the most common reasons I heard for why people decided to leave everything behind and travel by themselves for a long time was that they had just gone through a painful breakup. These people had usually been living their life for someone else, ignoring their own desires. Breaking up made them realize that they wanted to travel and expand their horizons. For those people, having travel flings was part of the perfect solution to healing themselves. Flings aren’t permanent, so they are easier to indulge in because you don’t have to worry about becoming too vulnerable, or having another bad breakup (usually). Instead they give you the chance to discover that you can enjoy the company of someone else again, and that there are a lot of fish in the sea!

Although they are definitely in the minority, some people are not interested in having any kind of romantic liaison while travelling. For example, I met travellers who were in monogamous relationships and wanted to remain faithful to their better half back home. I fully encourage people to travel even if their partner can’t manage to join them, but I definitely noticed that people in these situations usually weren’t having as great a time as us single people. They would often search out an internet café immediately upon getting into a town to make sure they could Skype home, and when they weren’t on Skype with their partner, they were thinking about how much better life would be if they had their partner with them. I found that people in relationships were less open to meeting new people in general, didn’t fully enjoy their surroundings, and often cut their trip short to go back home. All totally understandable, but definitely less than ideal!

I also met a few people who didn’t want to meet anyone else because they really just wanted to work on themselves and personal growth for one reason or another. I completely respect this mindset and believe you can get a lot out of travelling with this perspective, as long as you aren’t denying yourself too many things that you really want.

Alternatively, some people very actively seek out romantic liaisons, and their trip can start to revolve around meeting more people to hook up with, or staying with a specific person they met. I found myself in the latter trap at one point in my travels, and I quickly became unhappy with myself. I wanted my trip to be about me, not somebody else. It was hard to break the cycle of going out of my way to meet someone, but I forced myself to resume making decisions about travelling that only involved me. I immediately started having more varied experiences again, and felt like my trip was back on track. I’m not saying that’s what everyone should do, but I personally really value independence, and I especially did at that point in my life.

It’s hard to say if travel relationships would work in the “real world.” Just as many people say that travelling with a partner is a good test of a relationship because you have to endure so much together, real life is also a good test. When travelling, you are taken away from your daily responsibilities and your relationships with the people who surround you at home. Dealing with these aspects of life also exposes the dimensions of a person’s character. As such, life on the road is in some ways life out of context. I didn’t have much of an opportunity to see a relationship through from travel life to everyday life at home, but I know that the way two people interact changes at least a little bit when they’re no longer in a setting of pure freedom.

Every person you meet alters you, whether you realize it or not. Romantic encounters definitely change you in an exciting way, and there is a very good chance of getting a dose of them when you travel. It is a lot easier to meet people you’re interested in when you’re travelling because you become much more open to human connection, and so does everyone else. I definitely miss the ease of forming relationships while travelling, and it’s one of the main reasons I encourage people to hit the road. If you feel like you need change in life, travelling and meeting new people is a great solution. Trust me, you won’t regret it!

Travelling Alone – As a Woman

I mentioned in my previous post that people are always so shocked when I tell them I travelled alone, and it seems that the biggest issue they have with that is that I’m a woman. I guess they are assuming that I would have a particularly hard time travelling alone since we live in a patriarchal world where women actually have to think about things like how not to get raped. There are definitely different attitudes towards women in different parts of the world, and some countries consist of cultures that endorse disrespect and violence towards women more than others. I’m not here to pass judgment on different cultures per se, or discuss politics in any way. Those issues are far too complex for me to delve into on my blog, and I don’t necessarily have a resolute opinion on them. That said, I’m all for gender equality, and being treated with disrespect because I am a woman is one of my least favourite things about travelling, and life in general. I just want to explain how I perceived my travel experiences to be different from a man’s travel experiences, how I dealt with harassment, and why it shouldn’t be a reason for women not to travel on their own.

Yes, I did experience sexual harassment while I was away, but no, it did not detract from my travel experience. Guess what! I’ve been sexually harassed in Canada too! Just yesterday I decided to wear a dress because it was so nice out in Toronto. I felt nervous about someone commenting on it the whole time I was walking outside. Sure enough, some random older man mumbled, “looking sexy” as he passed me on the sidewalk. Ugh. That doesn’t make me want to leave Canada; it just makes me wish that the world were different. Sexism and sexual harassment are issues that women deal with constantly, be it consciously or not, or while they are travelling or not. I can’t say too much about what it’s like to be a local woman in most of the countries that I visited, and I also can't really say what it's like to be anything other than a woman, so I want to be clear that what I’m writing is only about how I perceived my gender affected the way I was treated when I was abroad. I apologize for the gender-normative perspective of this post!

While travelling in many places I stand out because I look different; the unwanted attention I get is therefore partially because I’m a foreigner. All travellers get harassed to a certain extent for being foreigners, regardless of gender. This usually comes in the form of people trying very hard to sell you something, and occasionally people are rude because they simply resent you for being more privileged than they are. There is some positive attention received too, like when people want to take a picture with you, or just talk to you because you’re so different. I totally understand and accept that while I’m walking around staring at people from other cultures, they are staring at me as well. But I also received a lot of unwanted attention from men in the form of whistles, gross comments, rude gestures, etc. that had more to do with me being a woman than me being a foreigner.

There were some countries in which I received little to no harassment, including all of the countries where I didn’t stand out from the locals due to my looks (Chile, Argentina, Australia, and New Zealand). I was also not much bothered in Bolivia, Burma, or Thailand. It seemed like people in Bolivia and Burma were generally more timid and polite when it came to talking to foreigners, whether they be male or female. Additionally, I was just one in a zillion backpackers in Thailand, so I didn’t really stand out and get incessantly harassed there either. Just don’t get me started on Yan, the craziest woman-hating hostel manager ever, who operates out of Haad Rin in Koh Phagnan, Thailand.

Same same but different - it's hard to stand out in this crowd! Full Moon Party, Thailand

I have never been physically assaulted in a violent manner; as such, most of the abuse I received was verbal. There was the occasional ass grab or forced hug that I did not want at all, but I was never really afraid of my life being in danger due to sexual harassment. Instead I was just afraid of freely talking to people, in case I gave them the wrong impression. And that sucked! Why should I have to put up with that crap just because I’m a woman?

I was upset that when someone shouted a lewd comment at me, I wasn’t able to do anything to make them treat me like any other human being. It seemed like no matter what I said or gestured back to someone harassing me, all I would get was a bigger response and more attention than I was looking for. For example, giving someone the finger, my biggest defense in the past, seemed to have zero effect in South America, a place where the macho culture of harassment became particularly tiresome. I complained to my mother about this and she told me that in Spain, people gave “devil horns” and maybe that would have a greater effect than the middle finger. Devil horns involve sticking up only your pinky and index finger. One day I was sitting on a bench with a female friend in a small town in Northern Peru, when a much older man passed by and whistled at us. I decided to put the devil horns to the test and slowly raised my hand while staring back at him. The man was shocked. He literally gasped and covered his face with his hands. It worked! Or so I thought. The man ended up thinking it was hilarious and kept coming back to stare and whistle at us more. Conclusion: the best thing you can do when people are behaving like that is to ignore them. But that is easier said than done, especially when you’ve been travelling and dealing with disrespectful men for a long time.

I have had some less-than-proud moments in dealing with sexual harassment in my travels. One day stands out in particular: I was in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, again. KL is one of my least favourite cities in the world, mainly due to the huge population, the heat, and the atrocious air quality; however it’s a major travel hub so I spent more time there than I would have liked. At one point I was staying in a hostel in the Indian Quarter, and had been dealing with men staring at me and wanting to shake my hand and touch me for a couple of days already. I was walking down the street back to my hostel, feeling generally irritated because of the city, when I passed by a bunch of guys leaning against cars. The first guy I passed said something like, “Hey, sexy lady!” I ignored him. The next guy said something similar and I replied with, “Fuck off!” and gave him the finger. The third guy in line said something similar as well, and I must have looked at him with crazy eyes because he followed it up with a very concerned sounding, “Are you OK?” I threw my arms up and said, “No, I’m not OK! All of you leave me alone!” And with that I ran back to my hostel and didn’t come out for the rest of the day. I even started writing a giant essay about disrespect on my iPod Touch, which helped me cool down. I felt bad because I blew up at that one guy, when really it was the collective harassment I had been receiving that made me so angry. Obviously that one guy wasn’t trying to be malicious, but for some reason he thought I would be OK with him making comments as I walked past him on my own.

Petronas Towers - a symbol of modernity in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

I’ve had friends tell me that I’m overly sensitive to sexual harassment. I’ve heard that I shouldn’t mind it because it’s part of the culture, that I should take it as a compliment, or that it’s just not a big deal. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s fine for people to express romantic interest in each other; but it shouldn’t be done in a way that makes the other person feel like some kind of target. What exactly does sitting on the side of the road, spewing lewd comments about someone’s appearance as they walk past you really accomplish? That is, besides make someone feel self-conscious and worried that a stranger might advance upon him/her. I wonder how often, “Hey sexy lady, want to come with me?” actually works. I hope never!

I want to note that men experience sexual harassment from local and foreign women while travelling as well. I have heard accounts of men being badgered and receiving unwanted gropes while trying to be friendly and mingling with others. This is equally unacceptable, but from my experience it is a much less pervasive problem.

I also want to acknowledge the fact that in some instances perceived sexual harassment is the result of a miscommunication caused by differences in cultural norms regarding romantic relationships. I have met many men and women who went dancing one night, kissed a local person, and suddenly found themselves in what seemed like a serious relationship with a borderline stalker. It’s important to read up on what the standard practice for courtship is before going to a country. Equally, it’s important to present yourself in accordance with local customs. For example, I wouldn’t walk around a Muslim-majority country in skimpy clothing, no matter how hot it was, because I understand that modesty is important in such a culture. I may not agree with the concept, but I respect other people’s beliefs and I also just don’t want that kind of attention.

Respectfully covered up during my visit to Angkor Wat (the largest religious monument in the world) in Cambodia, despite the crazy heat!

I feel like my post has been pretty negative up until this point, but I’m just picking out specific examples to elucidate what kind of sexual harassment I experienced. Obviously I had an amazing time travelling for two years, and there were so many more positive experiences than negative ones. The balance was completely tipped towards the side of awesome, and I never dwelled on the bad experiences for long. I want to share a really positive story now to give you a glimpse of the other side of my gender-specific experience.

As mentioned above, I found Burma to be filled with a lot of wonderful, respectful people. I think I met one mean guy in the whole country, and I was there for over three weeks! A great deal of this is owed to the fact that tourists have not visited the country very much up until now. The concept of making money off of rich visitors hasn’t really sunken in, and men don’t find it appropriate to harass foreign women yet. On the contrary, people are really excited to see tourists in their country and wish to show them a great time.

My time in Burma was amazing every step of the way, but the most epic part was when I went to the 67^th annual Taunggyi Fire Balloon Festival. The whole idea of the festival is ridiculously amazing in and of itself. I mean, giant hot air balloons exploding with fireworks in the night sky? Whaaat?! I went to the festival one night with a large crowd of travellers that I met along the way, and we had a lot of fun together. But what really made the festival an experience to remember was the men. I heard reports of 100,000 people being present the night that I went. Imagine an endless sea of drunken people dancing and having a great time. Most of the women were sitting on the sidelines to watch the explosions, so now imagine that the endless sea of people was really an endless sea of men. When our group first got down to the action I was a little apprehensive. People were partying hard and I was afraid that being surrounded by all these young, drunk guys might lead to trouble. It didn’t. At one point we made it down to the carnival ride area (that’s a whole other story!) and there was a dance party/mosh pit going on. The men were all dancing with each other, grabbing each other’s hands, jumping up and down, hugging, and even kissing! At first they only grabbed the men in our travel group to join in, but then one guy must have taken pity on me and grabbed my hand too. This resulted in me holding hands with a ton of men and jumping up and down for the next couple of hours. Again, I was nervous about giving someone the wrong idea or someone taking advantage of me in this situation. I felt very vulnerable being surrounded by all these rowdy guys, but I soon realized that they weren’t going to do anything different to me just because I was a woman (besides the one dude with a mental illness who put my finger in his mouth when I wasn’t looking!). They all just genuinely wanted me and my friends to have a good time, and damn, I had a great night! It was such an intense experience, and I thank those men for showing me hospitality and respect.

A hot air balloon exploding over the giant crowd at the Taunggyi Fire Balloon Festival in Burma

Mob of men dancing their asses off at the Taunggyi Fire Balloon Festival

To sum it all up, I did receive sexual harassment in many places when I was travelling, and it often seemed to stem from the fact that I was a foreign woman. I’m sure there are many reasons why the impression that single women love random guys directing sexual comments towards them has pervaded many cultures, but it makes me angry. I fully encourage solo travel as a woman in all of the countries I have been to, but it’s important to keep in mind that in some places it is acceptable to objectify women to such a great degree, and that what are considered normal actions at home may be considered flirtatious or promiscuous in other cultures. It is also important not to let sexist crap get in your way of enjoying a culture and getting to know individuals who come from a completely different world than you do. There are disrespectful people everywhere you go in the world, but I’ve found that there are a lot more good, respectful people. Go meet the good people!